Fear and Fiction

A couple weeks ago, a friend asked a philosophical question for fun, so another friend and I could try to answer it. The question was "What is fear?" I attempted to answer the question, but my answer was rather pathetic and I was pretty clueless and dissatisfied with it. My other friend took a crack at it, but was also stumped. The event stuck in my mind. For one thing, it was a humbling question because, being philosophically-minded, one of my greatest flaws is a sort-of intellectual pride in being able to answer many such questions. But it was more than that. It was an interesting question - one that I've gotten close to in thought many times, but never actually broached anywhere. It took forever thinking about it to finally find an answer, but my thoughts were of a sort that I wished to share here, as eventually - like in so many topics - they came to writing.

Fear is perhaps an honesty with oneself - a morally neutral sort-of humility. By itself, it means nothing, but, as with many human emotions, the action taken for it gives it meaning.


Fear branches into two paths - cowardice and courage. Courage? Yes, courage; to quote that repetitive old favorite line from Newsies, "courage does not erase our fears; courage is when we face our fears," and it is not courage to have to fear in the first place. You are probably not afraid of PB&Js, but this does not mean that eating one is having courage. You are probably not afraid of swimming, either, which is certainly more dangerous than PB&Js, but this does not mean you are being courageous every time you swim. Courage is only present where fear is.


On the other hand, cowardice is taking one's fears and refusing to have courage; it is allowing one's fear to overpower one's higher motive or goal. This is the contortion of fear, while courage is the completion of it. To be fearful is no wrong; to let those fears go above one's reason is. Courage is keeping one's mind even whilst one's knees quake.


At this point, I have to stop. If these are true, and fear can be completed or contorted - because I am no authority, not marvelously intelligent, and may be completely wrong, no matter what my own mind wishes to think, this is debatable - then fear exists. What does this mean? Well, it means fear must be good. Nothing that exists is evil; evil is always merely a contortion of lack of good things. And if fear is good, this leads me to the writing part after a terribly lengthy introduction...

Why Do We Make Fear Our Enemy?

Think about them - all the stories, particularly recent ones, where fear is the enemy of the tale. Frozen; Rise of the Guardians; the Hotel Transylvania movies, and Harry Potter to a certain extent - all of them make fear the enemy of humankind (or... modified humankind in a few of those characters). Why should fear be the enemy? Why is it so unequivocally condemned in society nowadays?

Well, think about what's boosted in its place. Confidence, acceptance of everything (usually masquerading as 'love,' despite the unloving treatment of characters who are not accepting), and belief in oneself. Overall, the opposites of humility. Why? Because that's what fear is a part of in its truest sense: humility. And society has long hated humility; we all know this.

People hate humility now because it shows them to be what they are: weak, stubborn, sinful, worthless beings. And it makes them admit that, to have worth, they have to rely on something or Someone else. Fear does the same thing. It tells us that we cannot do everything ourselves, we cannot face anything, we cannot be invincible or omnipotent, etc. And because the only alternatives are fearlessness and cowardice, the latter a universally despised flaw even in these days, they promote fearlessness.

But fearlessness is not only unnatural, it is impossible. If you are a human being, then you will have fears (perhaps this is why so many people in these anti-fear movies are not plainly human...?).

It is also arrogant. If one takes away fear of any kind, then one becomes sure that one is the all-powerful center of the universe, capable of anything with enough effort and motivation and belief in oneself, and dependent upon no one, not even God, which is exactly what fear admits; "Without God, we're helpless," fear admits to us.

Modern society dislikes fear because they dislike God. Fear forces them to admit their reliance on God, so they shun it. Not only this, but fear can be an element of conscience, making one reluctant to do what one knows is wrong, and that's strike two for fear in their book. It also disrupts those lovely little 'happy vibes' that they worship as an idol in social media. It can also be a virtue, in fear of the Lord, which is the chief factor in our admittance that Someone is more powerful than us.

So... What Do We Do?

Well, stop making fear the universal enemy in stories, for one thing. For another, write characters who are afraid. Sure, make them face their fears, but don't make it seem like they have none, or that they reject it. Yes, every human being would like to reject fear, no doubt, but truly mature characters will realize that it is not about what they like or don't like in saving themselves, their loved ones, the world, or whatever they're doing. What might even be a good idea is to start making fear's opposite the enemy - arrogance. Just to shoot an idea out there, you know. I know that many of you probably already have neatly-planned little novels and everything, and adding something like this just doesn't fit. Okay, fine. But don't write against it. Please. Fear is not your enemy; it's not anyone's enemy. So stop making it the enemy.

What do you think? Have you seen any movies or read any books like this? Have you ever thought about fear's representation in fiction? Do you have anything to add? Any comments? Arguments? Perhaps better definitions? I want to hear all your thoughts!

I Did It!!!!!

Tutti! Fine - finalmente! To all my lovely readers who are ever-patient with me, and are humoring me in my rants - I finally finished a book!!!

And now? I AM GOING TO TELL EVERYONE!!!!! What book? When? Why'd it take so long? Answers, answers. First of all, I would like to thank everybody for being patient with my horrendously long hiatus. Secondly, I would like to thank everybody for being patient with all my sporadic ranting. And finally, I'd like to thank you all for reading. Without  readers, there's no way this story would have ever gotten this far, especially this soon. Because the story is one that you've all helped on, with your amazing commentary, critique, and just general encouragement - I finished The Pain of a Memory. Granted, from about the climax up until the end, I only wrote the barest bones of the events in, and I will have to edit and rewrite for ages to ever get it polished. But that's the next step. For now, all I can say is thanks to everyone who read any part of this story, or even this blog - your support wrote this book! And now - I am going to go and faint from writing/ranting exhaustion! ;P

If You Haven't Already Guessed...

I'm on hiatus. I really should have put up a notice saying so, but it kept slipping my mind. The reason for the break? It's threefold. Firstly, due to school and miscellaneous busyness that I always have. Secondly, because I'm trying to devote a little more time to fulfilling promises, such as beta reading for people, praying more, and spending time with my siblings in the all-too-easily consuming school year. Thirdly, - drumroll, please - it's because I'm finishing a novel. Finally. I know it's taken me long enough - after all, Alomina, my first-written current WIP, just celebrated its fourth birthday last month. Unfortunately... Alomina will have to go on waiting. I won't reveal which project it is I'm finishing until it's actually finished (whereupon I will start announcing it to the world), but that will be the gauge of my hiatus. As soon as it's finished, I will blog more regularly, and you will hear bells ringing as far as I can reach to annoy you with the news. As for now, what can you expect? Probably little or no posting for the next couple weeks to a month. That's not a super big change from what's going on. And then still probably varied amount of posting after that, depending on the status of the work in question. Trust me. You'll know when it's done. But, for now, mio amici, arriva derci!

10 Terribly Tiresome Tropes

I hate modern culture. I make no pretense of enjoying modern music, modern movies, or modern books. For the most part, I cannot stand any of those three. And so usually I don't give a dime to those things, and let them be, so long as they're away from me. But sometimes, there're a few screwy things that I have to notice. Because - and I'll try to be fair about this despite my distaste for modernity - there are a few elements in a story that have gotten old and nobody has said anything. At this point, they are commonplace, and bad writing, but few people say anything about them because they've become custom. So I will say a few things about  them.

Tiresome Trope #10 - The Copycat

This trope certainly isn't the worst out there, but it's still too common. It consists of a character whose background and setting is taken from another character's, and then said first character's history being conveniently taken as well, subtly, of course, under a different being. This is fan fiction for you. Not all fan fiction is like this, mind you, but most fan fiction I have read takes the setting and background of a popular published character and then takes all their conflict and history and transposes it onto a just conveniently different, new character. For instance, there may be a character who was trained to be an assassin in HYDRA, succeeded for a time in Russian undercover groups, and is eventually reformed, but this character is now a man rather than a woman, or African rather than Russian, or an extrovert rather than an introvert or whatever. But it's basically like taking the backdrop of a portrait and just painting a different face over the original. It's an oft overlooked form of plagiarism, unfortunately. And worse, oftentimes, if the names are changed, this stuff can get published. Ugh.

Tiresome Trope #9 - Fight, Fight, Fight!

This is the trope that we see in most action and sci-fi movies. This is the loooooooong battle scene where most of the characters die, and meanwhile, many character show off their splendid fighting abilities. There is nothing wrong with battles in stories, nor climax battles, so don't get me wrong. It just that when you invent this cataclysmic, do-or-die battle scene and most of what the characters do during it is just fight and kick butt and maybe one or two die just at a moment when all the characters can see and have a dramatic moment shouting "Noooooooooo!," then something's wrong. (This is like every Avengers climax, btw.)

Tiresome Trope #8 - Civil War

Perhaps a very similar trope to #9, but it is different in that all the fighting goes on within the circle of main characters. When the characters just start pettily bickering for no reason, that's about when I put the book down for a while. Why? Firstly, because it's done too much without good cause other than lack of good conflict ideas, and it's bad writing, and secondly, because it drives me nuts when otherwise likable characters behave like spoiled brats. And usually it's just to provide silly conflict in the story or even just among the readers! To quote the immortal HISHE's (How It Should Have Ended) perfect summary of it, "You could have some kind of a civil war for conflict - you know, like a 'pick a side' type thing?"

Tiresome Trope #7 - The Silver Tongue

I get it. Nobody's perfect, even in real life, and so character shouldn't be either. But you know one sure way to make me - and a lot of other more valuable readers - despise a supposedly good main character? Make them lie. Constantly. To everyone. Whenever they're in a scrape. And even when they're not, if you really wanna throw down the gauntlet. Just make them lie, lie, lie. That'll make your readers love them. And it will totally reinforce your depiction of them as a good guy. There are characters who get away with it, maybe, but generally those characters are neither main, nor supposed to be good. Plus, they're usually such well put-together characters that a common trope like that barely dents their lovely, well-polished writing. So... unless you have the next Loki, Dustfinger, or Yank in the R.A.F., then it's a trope better left alone.

Tiresome Trope #6 - Tough and Tiny

These are the characters, usually small, and usually animals, that are all bark and bite and no brawn. Of course, these characters somehow magically conquer everyone they face, despite their usual size disadvantage and the skill disadvantage that realistically they would have. Good examples of this are, I'm sad to say, in many a movie and book I love. It wasn't always cleche writing. Narnia did it, and that's one thing. Chronicles of Prydain did it, and that's one thing. It wasn't old the first few times, maybe. But then, when everybody started doing it, and every kid's movie had one of those characters necessarily, it got old.

Tiresome Trope #5 - That Brat Upstairs

I'm sure all you have seen some movie or read some book with that older sibling - usually a sister - who just stays upstairs, never coming out to the light of day, constantly on her phone/headphones/computer/pad/whatever technology, who hates her younger siblings and is always rude to her parents. She is a teenager who has no respect for most people, bullies and bosses her siblings behind her parents' back, is always put in charge as the tyrant of the house, is usually stupid and easily outsmarted by her rival little siblings, and generally cares nothing for things that are not dating, driving, napping, or partying-related.


I cannot even stress how harmful a trope this is, especially in kid's fiction. Ramona and Beezus; Spiderwick Chronicles; Zathura - there are too many. But the common nature of the trope is not what makes it bad writing, per se, in this case. It hurts.

Do you know how many impressionable young whippersnappers watch or read stuff like this and then forever imagine their older sibling as stupider, meaner, bossier, and overall less pleasant than a decent person? It works the same way with this figure as a parent. Little kids will read stuff with unintelligent parents, guardians, older siblings, or babysitters, and they will think that this means adults must just not be worth much. Trust me - as an oldest sibling, I can speak from experience on the impression it makes on younger siblings, and as a once-impressionable child, I can speak from experience on how much of and impression it makes on daughters and sons. It really is not cool to trash older siblings, writers. It's not cool to trash parents. And it's definitely not cool to write something everybody else is writing without even thinking about what it will impress upon your readers.




Tiresome Trope #4 - I Know What I'm Doing!

Imagine this scenario. A main character who is usually rather strong-willed develops this bizarre, radical idea that nobody else believes. Most people doubt said character and eventually, even their friends think they're just being silly, lying, hallucinating, etc.

And then... poof! This main character, though their idea was unusual, and founded on mostly nothing but prejudice, instinct, or jumping to quick conclusions, turns out to be right. Perhaps even more right than they originally thought. And of course, everybody else pays for not acting on the main character's original gut feeling, because now it's too late (everybody believes them now, of course). And then the main character saves everyone, and they grovel on their knees for not yielding to the main character's every all-knowing whim. Yep. Sound like good writing to you? No? I think I've said enough.

Tiresome Trope #3 - Macho... But Not So Macho

How many male characters are there in fiction at this point who seem masculine and tough and then end up being sentimental or insecure? Really, writers. There's a reason men are called 'men,' for goodness's sake. It's because they are men, and not sops or women with guns or effeminate wimps.

Please. Just recognize that not all men out there are pathetic! This is a particularly harmful trope, too, because it has established the now all too common humor of stupid men and intelligent women, which, really, is incredibly sexist, guys. And don't think I'm just criticizing the muscle men with secrets - male characters who never even start out masculine (for no particular reason, too) are even worse, and also unrealistic writing.

Tiresome Trope #2 - Lil Sassy Feminist

I had a very hard time choosing between this and #1 as to which one was worse. Eventually, I chose this to be second place because it went more with #3 in its content. But, while #1 won out, this one is still one of the most ridiculous cleche tropes out there. There are so many women in fiction who fight (and do as well or better than the poor, pathetic men), are cleverer than all their surrounding people (usually comically egotistic or stupid men), and are generally more skilled and insightful than the other characters (need I even say it again?).

Every single girl. In every single book. Everywhere.They also coincidentally wear tight or showy clothing, dislike dresses, are uncomfortable in feminine society, scorn womanly practices, and are generally rebellious, sassy, and unintentionally egotistic. They think the best of themselves because they are the best. They fight because they are better at it than the men. They read, invent, and design not, despite appearances and claims, because it is a hobby they enjoy, or because they with to educate themselves, but merely because the brutish, Neanderthal males would deny them the privilege of it. I would supply examples, but I am quite confident that you shall be able to easily think of many without my help. And if I hadn't already complained enough, I would elaborate further upon my disgust with this quite thoroughly tiresome trope.



Tiresome Trope #1 - Father Fallacious, Sister Sinister, and Brother Boorish

This is perhaps the most tiresome trope of all.  Because it's another harmful trope. A very harmful trope. Because the Catholic Church, and Christianity in general, is so oft maligned, most people have a mental image of religious life, religious people, or even religion in general as stupid, outdated, or simply sinister. And, as opposed to the other harmful tropes mentioned above, this targets something that is not quite so easily off-key.

When you malign older siblings and parents in fiction, you are merely maligning an imperfect, human group. There are mean parents and bad siblings out there. When you malign masculinity, you are still maligning a mostly human thing. There are pathetic men out there. But when you malign Christ, Christianity, and His Church, you're maligning the very wellspring of Truth.

Yes, there are surely bad priests, bad nuns, bad monks, etc., etc. out there - there's no doubt of that. But the thing is, when you have only a single, or a couple representations of the Church or its members, and you choose to make them negative for no particular reason, then you choose to imagine that Church, that religion, and that Divine Savior as in general false, fearful, greedy, evil, outdated, and overall unintelligent. Fiction may be meant to imitate real life, but it is not real life. We write novels because we have ideas of what the world could be, not by necessity exactly, molecule for molecule, what it is. Because who would want to read an exact account of their daily life, word for word, nothing spared?

The thing is, we want novels to be like our life, but not just like our life. We would like a little bit of fancy. We would like a little bit of hope. We would like a little bit of Truth, and Beauty, and Goodness. So to pointlessly malign something, even in fiction, is not only oftentimes libel, but also incredibly bad writing.

All of these are pretty bad writing. But they're not the only options. To clear up the gray cloud, I hope to follow up soon with 10 more tropes, but these will instead be good ones that are in need of revival. Because I know that no one wants to just hear a post that is completely negative and critical without any practical suggestions - I certainly don't - I'll try and get that follow-up post ready as soon as possible. Thanks for reading! Tell what you think in the comments, whether it be (civil) debate, additions, critique, or suggestions for part two - chat with me! (As a last word, I must needs apologize - methinks I went a little crazy with the gifs.) 





The Pain of a Memory - Part XI

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX

Part X

***

            Anwynne looked around. Not much had happened yet. It had been almost exactly a day since Errius and Elystra had escaped. Anwynne and the guards had been left only to hope that Errius and Elystra were still safe and on their way, with not a sign to know it.

            Suddenly there was the noise of soft, agile footsteps from the tunnel. Anwynne looked up. Rogan had just come out, looking oddly cat-like and smug in his demeanor. Errius' soldiers all watched him walk in with a look of suspicion.

            Strangely enough, Rogan walked straight up to Anwynne, and looked down right at her. He smiled almost slyly. Anwynne glared up at him, confused and semi-disgusted by his sudden centering on her. Again? What on earth could he want with her? And why on earth did he keep doing this?

            Anwynne was about to say something about it, when suddenly he stopped looking at her and turned around.

            He faced one of the bandit watchmen, and gestured to him. Then he gestured towards Anwynne. "Why don't you bring the princess? I have need to speak with her Highness"

            At this, most of Anwynne's guard turned their sights to Rogan, all with suspicion and most with dislike in their eyes. Perhaps they were right to be suspicious of him. Anwynne herself was rather unsettled by the order. Why on earth did he want her? It certainly couldn't be anything pleasant... at least for her.

            Anwynne looked to see the watchman's reaction. Apparently the bandit watchman was also somewhat surprised by the order. "And where would you have me transport the princess, Captain?"

            Rogan's lips curled up at the ends in what seemed almost a mockery of a smile. "Just aid her into the back quarters"

            The bandit watchman seemed also to think this command equally odd, but did not hesitate in obeying it. "Yes, Captain"

            With this, the bandit watchman walked over to Anwynne. Anwynne drew back a little in an involuntary response. She didn't like the prospect of whatever was going on.  But, disregarding Anwynne's distaste for the arrangement, the bandit watchman picked her up and walked back into the cave, past Anwynne's guard. She watched their faces as she passed. Some had fear, and on all of them was still etched suspicion and anger. They feared for her. She was beginning to fear for herself, come to think of it.

            Soon enough, the watchman had carried her back into the tunnel at the back of the cavern, as though going straight towards... Oh no. It looked as though they were going to room at the end of the tunnel... Anwynne knew the room. And she had no wish to visit it. Please, Anwynne pleaded inside her head, Please let us be going somewhere else than there...

            But her hopes were in vain, it seemed, for soon enough they stopped in front of the dreaded door. The watchman opened the door, and entered with Anwynne. Anwynne looked around slowly. There was no one there. But, how...? What had they done with their prisoner...? Anwynne dreaded to even think of what they'd done with him... As if she had not already been convinced enough of Rogan's cruelty and inhumanity. But whatever they had done with the previous prisoner, it was now she that was prisoner here... Prisoner to whatever Rogan wished to do with her... Helpless...

            Anwynne had to stop herself from yelling for help - having to remind herself that it was useless - as the bandit watchman set her down in that room, and then departed from it. The black door shut behind him, leaving Anwynne alone to await whatever was her fate.

            Anwynne looked around the room. There was absolutely nothing in it except a simple chair, which was what she had been set upon. Otherwise, the room was almost exactly akin to the rest of the cave - stony, black, and cold. Where was Rogan? Anwynne wasn't exactly keen on finding out anytime soon.

            But then, as though in spite of her dread and wonderings, the dark door opened up once more, giving way to Rogan, the bandit captain. The bandit captain who Anwynne was completely in the power of...  

            Rogan was just as felinely swaggering when he walked in as he had been back in the main part of the cave. Seeing him walk in, and knowing that she was alone with him, Anwynne's mind couldn't help but keep flying back to the looks of fear and suspicion that had been upon her guards' faces for her. She had to stop her own face from mimicking those sentiments.

            So Anwynne merely gazed up at Rogan boldly, determined not to look either afraid or compliant. She was very tempted to flinch and look away, but instead stubbornly kept on looking up at him.

            Rogan returned the glance, but in not nearly so much of a glaring fashion. He smiled brazenly. "Hello, Highness."

            Anwynne refused to acknowledge his greeting, not even breaking her stiff gaze.

            Rogan raised a brow as though intrigued by her response, or rather, lack thereof. "What's the matter, Highness? I thought you were a queen - and I've never heard of a queen who wouldn't pay civilities..." He laughed a bit. "Even if I'm not any courtier."
            Anwynne frowned. "It is exactly that. I do not owe any civilities to an outlaw."

            Rogan shrugged. "Perhaps not." He started to pace around a bit, and then turned back to Anwynne. "But you do owe me your ear, Highness. Because I have a proposition for you."

            "And how, may I ask, do I owe anything at all to you, least of all my precious time and attention?," Anwynne asked stonily.

            "Well," Rogan smiled again. "A better question would be how else exactly would you spend that treasured time and attention were I to leave you out there, Highness."

            Anwynne only frowned in answer.

            "That was quite the reply I anticipated," Rogan said nonchalantly. "But, Princess, getting on to more important matters, I had said I have a proposition."

            "Well, as I have no choice but to listen to you, I would wager, then speak and get it said, Rogue."

            "That's Rogan, Your Highness," Rogan corrected smilingly. "And I will, since you so graciously permit it."

            Rogan started to pace around again in his very leisurely, feline manner. "Well, whether you know it or not, Princess, your guard captain and your handmaid have both escaped together. And, while usually I wouldn't bother, Highness, I don't think it's an elopement." At this, he smiled a bit.

            Anwynne grimaced at the jest. "Just speak, Vagabond."

            Rogan shrugged. "Alright. But, they have not escaped unnoticed by me. Now, my watchmen tell me that they weren't the only ones to escape." Rogan turned to Anwynne and knelt down a little in front of her. "You had escaped too, Princess. And you were caught running back towards the cave. Somehow, Highness, I find it hard to believe that you were just running back to the cave because you didn't want to leave." He smiled yet again in his roguish manner.

            Anwynne remained silent. She had a feeling she knew what he might be getting at.

            "I know you were with them," Rogan continued. "And you saw where they went. I've already sent men down the forest road to find them, and even into the mountain road. But it is possible they didn't take a road, isn't it, Princess? And you're the only one who would know, of course. So, I suppose I'll just right out ask you - where did they go?"

            Anwynne only glared. "And you think I would know? And even if I did, why on earth would I tell you?"

            Rogan shrugged again. "Well, maybe because I can offer you something. I'm sure you've figured out by now, Princess, that I've sent a ransom note for you to the Nistrian capital. Well, Princess, when the Nistrians ransom you, did it occur to you that they might not ransom your companions as well?"

            Anwynne bit her lip. Of course it had occurred to her... It had been her greatest worry for the past three days... But she had to act as though he hadn't said anything. She tried to keep her expression hard.

            "Now, I'm sure a queen like you probably doesn't care much about her lower-class guard, but it is a worry I felt obliged to mention," he went on. "And I'm sure you wouldn't want to step into queenship with such a burden upon you. And you don't know how long we would keep our prisoners here... or even if we'd keep them here..."

            Anwynne felt as though all the blood suddenly had drained out of her. He means... He meant killing them. Surely even Rogan wouldn't do that...? But then, he might... Anwynne's mind wandered back to the stranger in the room. After all, for all she knew, that could very well have been what they'd done to him... But that wouldn't happen. As queen, she wouldn't let it happen. And besides, Errius and Elystra were on their way... It wouldn't be too much longer until they reached Nistria.

            "So, I'm prepared to offer you a deal, Highness," Rogan's voice snapped Anwynne back into reality. "If you tell me where the two runaways have gone, then once the ransom for you is collected, I shall let the whole party free - every single person."

            Anwynne looked down. It was a silly idea. Errius and Elystra were already on the move, and would be back soon enough. So Anwynne looked back up at Rogan again. "I'm afraid in your deal you have overlooked one thing, Vagabond: if those two 'runaways', as you call them, are already on their journey then they may discourage the ransom from ever coming, and bring aid back to help us escape before the Nistrians even read your note."

            Rogan smiled, this time a little more deviously. "Well, Princess, there's just one problem with that. You see, the ransom message was sent out almost exactly two days ago. With two riders rather than one, a two-day lead in my own messenger's journey, and neither one of those two even owning a horse, I highly doubt that they shall arrive before the ransom note is there. In fact, by time they arrive, I shouldn't be surprised if a ransom is already on its way here. You see, the timing is rather unusual, Princess, but I've worked it out."

            Anwynne clenched her fists. The despicable creature really has thought of everything...

            "So, what do you say, Princess? I know a few things that concern you, and so I'll ask you for something I don't know." Rogan leaned back against the wall of the cave casually.

            Anwynne looked up. He wasn't the only one who could play such games... She gazed at Rogan defiantly. "I can tell you plenty of things you don't know, Captain - if you really are a captain."

            Rogan smiled. "I assure you  I  am indeed. But what, may I ask, could you possibly tell me, aside from your little friends' destination?"

            Anwynne took a deep breath. She decided to try and play her cards well. "That you're looking for someone, and haven't found them. It distresses you, doesn't it? Well, they're already gone, I'm afraid. I heard who you were speaking of, and I can tell you that my captain is in every way matched to your description. But, if you were looking for Captain Errius, then you're already too late. He's gone." She tried to make her expression look stony.

            Rogan kept his leisurely post, but paled ever-so-slightly. "Your captain, his name is Errius, then?"

            Anwynne nodded coldly. "Captain Errius Du Regina. If you wanted to find him, for whatever reason, you already lost him."

            Rogan started to pace around a bit again, and reassumed his rather cat-like careless grin. "Du Regina, hmmm? I wonder, was this name given to him from birth?"

            "No." Anwynne glanced down at her hand coldly. "He was named this for being the captain of my guard."

            "Yes, so I guessed," Rogan said softly. "Errius 'Of The Queen'... What, pray tell, if you do know, Princess, is his birth name?"

            Anwynne looked back up at Rogan, raising her brow in question. "And why would you want to know, Captain?"

            Rogan shrugged lightly. "If you think he is the person I am looking for, then I can prove you wrong. But I suppose it doesn't really matter, now does it? You've exposed your little game, and now you've told me that you know I'm looking for someone. Perhaps now you'll give me another kind of information, ah, Princess? Like where the lovebirds have escaped to?"

            Anwynne frowned. "They are not - !" She bit her lip in frustration. "They are of the same family; brother and sister for your information. Twins, in fact..."

            Rogan suddenly got an unusual sort-of glint in his eyes. "Twins...?"

            "What of it?"

            Rogan cleared his face of the odd expression. "Nothing. It's just that it is an uncommon thing..." He started up again pacing.

            Anwynne stood up defiantly. "You are interested in him, yes? You care indeed, and you think there's something to Errius? Well, I know more of him, and plenty more."

            Rogan raised both brows lazily. "Why, was he your lord master? No, I don't care who he is, Highness, but I will admit that you've caught my interest out of curiosity."

            Anwynne glared. "No, Captain he was not ever any such thing. He was my friend, though. And if you want to know anything more about him, then you'll have to bargain for that information."

            Rogan chuckled a little, in what seemed to Anwynne a very artificial way. "So you want me to sell the same terms as my previous deal, but for useless information on some Ingrecian boy-soldier?" He shook his head with a more obviously forced smile. "I'm sorry, Highness, but your only choice has been laid before you." 

            "My only choice? The choice of revealing my own companions to you and your vagabond horde, so that you can revel in a queen's ransom all the rest of your wretched life? And I suppose these are your rights?," Anwynne protested coldly, sitting down once more.

            Rogan shrugged. "These are my demands."

            "I do wonder what you would even do with that ransom once you had it... " She glared up at him. "I would forever be pained to know that I ever agreed to such a thing as this betrayal. I decline your offer on plea of avoiding such pain."

            Rogan laughed coldly, this time without even a trace of a smile this time. "Avoiding pain? Pain cannot always be avoided, Highness. It always comes..." He turned away a bit. "And a spoiled mistress like you can barely know the meaning of the word."

            Rogan began as though to walk away again in his pacing, but Anwynne spoke up, and he turned back to her. "And you know the meaning of pain?"

            Rogan's look was now stony. "Whether or not I know its meaning, I know the thing itself better than anyone else I have seen on this earth."

            "You certainly boast of it freely enough."

            "I don't boast of it. I would give anything if..." Rogan trailed off for a moment. "You speak of pain, Princess, but you do not know it in any form."

            "I suspect well enough that you've given it to many a prisoner, so I have no doubt you are familiar with it yourself."

            Rogan shook his head. "I do not speak of physical pain, Highness. For all I am aware of, you may have known it. I speak of real pain - the type you have never known. You will never know that horrible grinding upon your very being, all just coming from things that should be long forgotten - that weight of a thousand anvils on your chest, the feeling that you may never be free of that weight again, and the knowledge that you won't..." He stiffened coldly. "This, Princess, is real pain, and I know its grip well."

            Anwynne looked up at him with an equal lack of warmth. "And do you expect my sympathy for this, Captain?"

            "I don't expect sympathy from a Nistrian, whether already received or only awaited. It is because of Nistrians that I know this pain, and so many times I have come close to death for it."

            Anwynne did not flinch at his hard expression, but only glared up at him more determinedly. "And why did you not just die, Rogue? I suppose it takes too much courage for a coward like yourself..."

            Rogan's face was now harder than she had ever seen it. His eyes flashed for a moment. "You are right, Princess. It does take courage to die" He turned and began to walk away. "But sometimes it takes far more to live."

With this, Rogan opened the door to the room, and disappeared into the darkness of the cavern beyond, leaving Anwynne once more alone.



The 20 Questions Book Tag

Thanks to Hope at her place for tagging me with this! Her post was most entertaining, and I highly encourage checking it out. But what is this? The Twenty Questions Book Tag apparently has no rules (wahoo!) except answering the questions. However. As a matter of custom, I shall still attempt to tag some people at the end of this. That said, I'll dive in.
How many books is too many books in a series?
I'd say no more than ten usually. However, apparently the How to Train Your Dragons books are exceedingly good as they go on, particularly past number ten, so I suppose there must be exceptions. For most books, however, no more than ten (unless it's murder mysteries or something, in which case there must be as many as possible preferably).

How do you feel about cliffhangers?
You know, I'm agreeing with Hope on this one - they are a pain to read but a blast to write. I am not one of those people who is in agony over most cliffhangers, but I make a simple policy of not stopping on one... ever.
Hardback or paperback?
I like both of them. However, I think I like paperback slightly better if only because you can stuff paperback books in totes, purses, pockets, etc., much more easily.
Favorite book?
*shoots self in head* I'm sorry, just no. I do not want to answer this. And, for your information, I have six favorite books. So I'll list all of them, heeheehee. *mischievous grin* The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy, Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien,  The Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle, and The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale (although if I had to bump one off the list and only have five, that last one would be it probably).

Least favorite book?
Well, scream at me all you like, but I personally think the whole Harry Potter series is incredibly stupid and rather lowlife quality. Even back when I used to like it a little better, I wrote a post detailing some of the reasons it's really not all it's cracked up to be. I know too well that this is not a popular opinion, however, so I'll say no more.
Love triangles, yes or no?
Um... Yes and no. Yes because I generally like them and they work splendidly for either drama or comedy, but no because they pain me and the guy I love always ends up losing - always. So... well, uh, no comment...because I can't really answer this properly.
The most recent book you just couldn't finish?
That would be Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson. I would read it every time I went over to my grandparent's house, because they had a copy, but someone kept replacing it every time I left, so I had to look for it every time to continue it. Eventually, I just plain-out lost it. I could not find the book and nobody seemed to know where it was. So, it remained unfinished, until one day, when my father came home with a bin of old books for my picking...
A book you are currently reading?
Difficult question. I am still reading Feser's brilliant Philosophy of Mind (I had to put it on hold for most of June and July because I was doing a reading challenge at the library), but I have also been listening to the Silmarillion on audiobook with mio padre. I also just finished Lemony Snicket's The Austere Academy.

Last book you recommended to someone?
Probably The Scarlet Pimpernel. It's just the book that I automatically recommend if I hear anyone wants a good read - because, believe me, it is a very good read.
Oldest book you've read? (Publication date)
Haha, I think one of the oldest books there is yet, at least in the realm of fiction -  probably Beowulf. I absolutely love that book. Really, epics have to be the best genre, and Beowulf's the best of them...
Newest book you've read? (Publication date)
Probably The Wide-Awake Princess by E.D. Baker. I read it awhile back as some very light reading, but I actually found it quite adorable and amusing, particularly for a fairy-tale retell, most of which I despise. I also loved the idea of all the princes (I would tell you my favorites, but I cannot remember most of their names except that Digby was the really stupid one).
Favorite author?
That is very hard, but I believe it would be J.R.R. Tolkien. The only other who comes close is G.K. Chesterton.

Buying books or borrowing books?
Borrowing. Thankfully, unlike most people, I don't have to pay nor have a return date when I borrow books, though - my dad's library is so extensive that it needs a whole room, and I very much take advantage of that.
A book you dislike that everyone else seems to love?
Oh, gosh... *groans* Just name almost any popular book, classic or new, honestly. Harry Potter, Wizard of Oz, Gulliver's Travels, Percy Jackson, the first How to Train Your Dragon.. the list could go on forever.
Bookmarks or dog-ears?
Bookmarks! Dog-ears are destructive!
A book you can always reread?
Aside from the ones I've already mentioned, Dracula by Bram Stoker is a book I always love coming back to. It really is the tops in the realm of horror.

Can you read while hearing music?
It depends. I can read if there's subtle enough music going on in the room, but I never choose to put music on while I read. It just doesn't allow you to think on the book as much, because you're too busy creating atmosphere. To me, music while reading just rather reminds of my siblings being noisy in the background while I'm reading. Music is beautiful, and good for many things, but I don't really like having it while reading.
One POV or multiple POVs? (POV = Point of view)
Multiple. Definitely multiple.
Do you read a book in one sitting or over multiple days?
It depends on the book, but generally, it takes a few days.

A book you've read because of the cover?
That would be The Wide-Awake Princess. Because the girl on the cover was so darn adorable, and the book actually looked rather classier and non-agendified (in that the female characters all seemed to be wearing dresses and the proper raiment of their time, and there was no indication of a fractured fairy tale except the fact that the main character was awake in a court of sleeping people). Like I said, it's light reading, but it was a pretty cute book.
Well, that's about all. What did you think? Have you read any of these books? What are you reading right now? For those who wish to pick up the tag, feel free! As for people I shall tag, the only person that comes to mind who hasn't already been tagged (to my knowledge) right now is Catherine over at Rebel's Muse - so the tag's for you, Catherine, if you have the inclination. For now, addio, amici!

Arranged Marriage: A Much-Maligned Good

Not too long ago, my friend Megan Chappie posted on her blog a wonderful casual essay concerning arranged marriage and marriage in general, here. I loved it at the time, of course, and couldn't have agreed more with her. And then I started thinking. And then I started thinking too much. And now, I have so many thoughts on it, and additions, and eager agreement that I had to write a post and speak them. Megan's post was absolutely splendid - I agreed with every word! And it got me thinking, an it got me inspired. (I most thoroughly suggest reading it, not only to understand this post more fully, but because it was an extremely insightful work.)

What exactly is it about arranged marriage that Megan said that was so great? She challenged the age-old idea that it is necessarily a bad thing, and even concluded that it could well be a very good thing. Okay. So what is it that I'm saying about arranged marriage, then? Well, hold on to your hats, folks, because, whether you agree or not, I'm saying arranged marriage is a very good thing. Most certainly, absolutely, definitely, one hundred percent a good thing. But before you leave in shock, and before I continue, let me say this: I do not support abusive marriages, I do not necessarily support marriages of odd ages, and I am not advocating marrying a stranger just for the sake of it. That being said, though, I think arranged marriage is a good thing. In fact, I would call it a legitimate option, even nowadays, and possibly as legitimate or more (in some cases) as finding your own spouse.

Marrying For Love

So what's the big thing about marrying for love? What does it even mean? Well, if my understanding is correct, it means knowing somebody enough to know that you like them when you marry them - basically just marrying someone you don't hate and even find pleasant.

But wait. That's not what love is. Love is not liking someone, per se, love is wanting a person's good, and putting them before yourself. You don't have to like a person to do that. How many books or movies have we seen where the hero valiantly rescues a villain, a henchman, or a complete stranger? They rescue someone they obviously do not like, or possibly don't even know, and yet they love the person enough to save them. So you don't have to like a person to love them.

So, in a sense, 'marrying for love' is really just marrying for friendship. Which is a good thing, yes, as a spouse will be your lifelong best friend, of course. However. Friendship, while it needs more than this to continue, often is just founded on a whim - liking someone at random, or just meeting them and them liking you. Thus, oftentimes what 'marrying for love' tends to be is just marrying someone you like, rather than any particularly real affection.

Being Married For Love

Believe me, there is a difference between the two. Marrying for love, and being married for love are two very different things.

As I've said above, marrying for love is really just marrying someone you get along with; someone you like. Loving the person isn't always necessarily a part of it as it as the term is commonly employed. How many romances can you think of in various entertainment genres that the couple do not always act for each other's good, yet still like each other? Their marriage would technically still be marrying for love, according to the term's use.

Being married for love does not require necessarily liking each other, or really even having known each other before the marriage. What it requires is - for common good and peace - fulfilling the spouses' respective roles in the marriage regardless of what said spouses like or dislike about it. And this, yes, may imply arranged marriage, but even in chosen marriage, the spouses aren't always living exactly according to their dream - that's a given - but they are living as spouses nonetheless. As Tolkien immortally put it, "[Your] real soul-mate is the person you are actually married to."

Love and Marriage (And Attraction)

In our Christian faith, we are called to love everyone. True love is, as I described above, but wanting a person's good and putting them before yourself. Thus, we are called to do this with everyone. So, if we're called to love everyone like that, and that's what true love really is, then what's the distinction between that and romantic love?

Love really is just self-sacrifice - that's certain. However, there is another factor to romance (and thus marriage) that is often called love, though its nature is less voluntary then real love. The difference between ordinary Christian love and romantic/marital love is attraction. Obviously, in a romantic relationship, we feel a different sort-of liking for the person than we would for a sibling or a friend. We have all three of the things I described above - liking the person, loving the person, and also having an attraction to the person. This is what people generally mean when they say someone is 'in love,' is that the someone is merely attracted to someone else in a certain fashion.

Is this the factor missing, then, from arranged marriage? No, indeed, it isn't. Not by nature, at least. Being attracted to someone can happen at a very young age, and isn't always even meant to develop into a full romance. When you are too young, or already married, or feel called to a different lifestyle, *cough cough vocation cough* then you can still be attracted to people of the complimentary gender, though you cannot act on said attraction.

Thus, attraction can happen on the spur of the moment, or over time - you can just see a person and be attracted to them (I believe the common term for this is 'love at first sight,' though I've said above quite extensively that attraction and love are two different things). And yet, many people of nowadays would have you - if you so wished - marry that person because of that feeling. And that's what they would call 'marrying for love.' But, really, that's just marrying for attraction. And if attraction can happen at first sight, then what's the difference between marrying an attractive person you know, and that same attractive person by arrangement, before you know them? In the realm of attraction - the big gap between romantic and non-romantic love - there is no difference. And if that's part of what makes love romantic, then can't an arranged marriage be every bit as romantic or more than marrying someone you know?

Marriage and romantic relationship to the Christian is made up of all three components, of course - love, friendship, and attraction, in that order - but as we are called to love everybody, and attraction is not only the least important, but the least controllable of the three factors, this rule does not cross out arranged marriage. The only factor missing in arranged marriage of the three is the factor that often takes the longest, even after the marriage, to unfold, even with chosen marriages: friendship. Friendship comes in time - even someone you start out not being able to stand can become one of your best friends given time. And marriage gives people that necessary time, for sure.

In Conclusion

So, what am I even rambling on about? In short:

• 'Marriage for love' is often really just marriage for attraction, which makes the freedom seem absurd
• Marriage has to be founded on love - self sacrifice
• If, we, as Christians, already love everyone, and make a lifestyle of self-sacrifice, then we could potentially marry anyone of the complimentary gender and be happy because the main foundation is there
• Friendship, the second foundation of marriage, takes time, even in chosen marriages, so to use it as a reason to discard arranged marriage is ridiculous
• Attraction is not easily controlled, and can happen as quickly as on first sight, so to base marriage on it without either of the other foundations is fallacious
• Arranged marriage has love, grows friendship, and may thrive with or without attraction (and has just as much a chance as chosen marriage to accomplish the latter), whereas chosen marriage often does not have one or more of those and can even be founded just on attraction
• Thus, in my own humble opinion, arranged marriage really is an overlooked good - I know it sounds screwy, but it is an amazing thing!



I know it may not be a particularly common thing, now, but it needs to be. Arranged marriage is very underrated, folks. Give it a break! I know I will - in fact, I'm brainstorming right now on story ideas to make an arranged marriage couple. I know this post is incredibly haphazard, but I would like to think that it was more excitement than carelessness that accomplished it. It's a serious subject! And, while I don't expect anyone to go out and do it because of this (that is, as always, at the discernment and abilities of each person), I do hope I've changed a few minds. But for now, addio, mia amici!